The title of this blog is a quote I found kinda a while ago, about a year or a little bit less, when I first started walking with Jesus.
Truthfully, this quote used to scare me, or can I say that it scared the flesh, I dunno, but I was scared. I wasn't willing to surrender, how could I let myself become so vulnerable for someone, would God take away the things I loved, the things I enjoyed and found pleasure in, this thought scared me like crazy.
But I have grown to see that losing what we hold dear, losing them to God, well, it's not just the best way to live, it's the only way. You will only have a true self when you've surrendered yourself to Him, that's the only way to have a true sense of self, it's the only way to have a real personality. See, God made you and me, who knows better who you should be than the One who created you Himself?
It's the plain truth.
Surrendering is something I've been staying away from for a while, I'm still very much in love with Jesus, it's just that, that same surrender well, for a while, it's been gone, I've let it go.
My heart knows what it needs, it knows Who it needs, I will stop fighting today and give in, I will allow myself to let go, I will allow myself to be consumed in His presence, in His truth, in obedience to Him, in pure love.
I became the headgirl of my school today, it's one of the most amazing things I have ever felt. I really sense God's hands in this, I remember not wanting to do it because I feared the arduous amount of responsibility and what it would mean for me. It would slowly eat away at my free time and my carefreeness, of this much I was sure. But I still prayed to God that if this was His will, what He wanted for me in the here and now, that by all means, He should let it be.
I'm giving this new title to God, I'm giving Him these next few months of my life as headgirl, I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm wholly surrendered to Him.
I remember, earlier on today, I was listening to some beautiful piano music and a song came on, "Be Thou My Vision", this song spoke a thousand words to my soul today. I want Him to be the way I see the world, I want to be so entirely wrapped up in Him that I think like Him, talk like Him, walk like Him, act like Him. I don't want people to look at Anita, I want them to look past me and see Jesus.
This is what it means to surrender...
I am before the throne, I am Yours alone, I will be no one else's, not even mine, my mouth, my hands, my feet, my heart, they are Yours, they always have been...I don't belong to me.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Words will always fail me...
I was thinking just a few seconds ago, about Jesus, about my life in Him, His life in me, what it means, what it has meant for me and what it will inevitably mean...
It's so weird that after a whole year walking with Him, when I try to put words to what He has done in my life, there simply aren't any, I don't think that there will ever be a description accurate enough or strong enough to cover what He is to me.
It's the strangest thing, that a sinner, someone so wrong as me could find something, someone so right, and have that Person love me back. I always see girls my age practically overwhelmed when they get a boy's attention, that's nothing compared to this. Loving Him is simply inexplicable.
I am not perfect in His eyes, I never have been and I never will be, but sometimes I can actually feel the love He has for me, I swear that I can feel His eyes on me as I go through the day, I can sense the love and utter devotion that His gaze holds.
To think that the person I love the most is also the person I have never seen, but it's like our love is on a whole 'nother level, it's beyond my senses, it's beyond natural laws. Truthfully, there is nothing natural about Jehovah, the one who calls the things that aren't as though they were.
I just want to live in this love forever, seriously, I don't see myself ever getting tired of Him, it's the most amazing adventure in the world, though it can be hard sometimes because I am in the flesh afterall. Life, people, throw so much junk at you sometimes, I am not blind to this fact, it's just that well, the Light of the world is so much more beautiful and so much more real to me.
I always want my life to be this way - that if you took away everything I hold dear; earthly possessions, my family, my gifts, everything I know to be mine, that at the core of my life, there would just be Jesus.
I'm a simple person and I don't need much. My number one necessity for life is Jesus, 'nuff said.
I can be very easily misunderstood by some and a lot of the time, I can't figure myself out but I do know this much about myself, I am entirely consumed in Jesus. His love is like an ocean, swallowing me and engulfing me more and more with each day, His love is everything and everything is nothing without Him.
This is the truth for me, I hope you know Him, I love people and there is nothing that I wish more for you than for you to have something like this with Him because let's face it, His love is where life begins.
I'm truly happy. My life is not perfect, a lot of things are upside down, I am in situations that challenge my faith but I have never been happier.
It's so weird that after a whole year walking with Him, when I try to put words to what He has done in my life, there simply aren't any, I don't think that there will ever be a description accurate enough or strong enough to cover what He is to me.
It's the strangest thing, that a sinner, someone so wrong as me could find something, someone so right, and have that Person love me back. I always see girls my age practically overwhelmed when they get a boy's attention, that's nothing compared to this. Loving Him is simply inexplicable.
I am not perfect in His eyes, I never have been and I never will be, but sometimes I can actually feel the love He has for me, I swear that I can feel His eyes on me as I go through the day, I can sense the love and utter devotion that His gaze holds.
To think that the person I love the most is also the person I have never seen, but it's like our love is on a whole 'nother level, it's beyond my senses, it's beyond natural laws. Truthfully, there is nothing natural about Jehovah, the one who calls the things that aren't as though they were.
I just want to live in this love forever, seriously, I don't see myself ever getting tired of Him, it's the most amazing adventure in the world, though it can be hard sometimes because I am in the flesh afterall. Life, people, throw so much junk at you sometimes, I am not blind to this fact, it's just that well, the Light of the world is so much more beautiful and so much more real to me.
I always want my life to be this way - that if you took away everything I hold dear; earthly possessions, my family, my gifts, everything I know to be mine, that at the core of my life, there would just be Jesus.
I'm a simple person and I don't need much. My number one necessity for life is Jesus, 'nuff said.
I can be very easily misunderstood by some and a lot of the time, I can't figure myself out but I do know this much about myself, I am entirely consumed in Jesus. His love is like an ocean, swallowing me and engulfing me more and more with each day, His love is everything and everything is nothing without Him.
This is the truth for me, I hope you know Him, I love people and there is nothing that I wish more for you than for you to have something like this with Him because let's face it, His love is where life begins.
I'm truly happy. My life is not perfect, a lot of things are upside down, I am in situations that challenge my faith but I have never been happier.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
So this is the first blog in like, forever...
Hey, :)
So, as I said in the title, this is my first update on this blog in like forever...I'm trying to tell myself that there is a good reason for that but heck, I'd only be lying. I've lived...A LOT...since the last time I wrote on here.
God has brought new challenges, new experiences, new people, new oppurtunities, and like a little girl in a new place, I've just clung to my Father's hand even tighter. This whole "growing-up" thing is quite a ride, it's like a rollercoaster that I can't seem to get off, and part of me doesn't even want to.
But my God, He's been so faithful to me, in a few short months, He's proven to me how He will be faithful to me all through my life, even when I am anything but faithful to Him. His love for me will not be based on what I have or have not done, He is Love, and this is why I can not cease to love Him.
How do you stop loving Love???
Faithfulness...this is something I'm learning, most importantly in my walk with God, but other parts too, my education, my relationships, my interests and my gifts, just all throughout my life. I'm clinging to God in prayer.
So, as I said in the title, this is my first update on this blog in like forever...I'm trying to tell myself that there is a good reason for that but heck, I'd only be lying. I've lived...A LOT...since the last time I wrote on here.
God has brought new challenges, new experiences, new people, new oppurtunities, and like a little girl in a new place, I've just clung to my Father's hand even tighter. This whole "growing-up" thing is quite a ride, it's like a rollercoaster that I can't seem to get off, and part of me doesn't even want to.
But my God, He's been so faithful to me, in a few short months, He's proven to me how He will be faithful to me all through my life, even when I am anything but faithful to Him. His love for me will not be based on what I have or have not done, He is Love, and this is why I can not cease to love Him.
How do you stop loving Love???
Faithfulness...this is something I'm learning, most importantly in my walk with God, but other parts too, my education, my relationships, my interests and my gifts, just all throughout my life. I'm clinging to God in prayer.
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Learning to live again...
One of the best things about new life with Jesus is that He teaches you a whole new way of living, you see things in a different way and it's like your entire perspective on life has been changed.
In the years when we were in the world, we were told lies, we conformed to the ways of the world simply because we knew no other way, in our own strength, we could not defeat self, the world says: "I want it, so I'm going to have it", "I feel like it, so I'll do it", "What about me?"
It's always somewhere around the arena of self but then when we give ourselves to God and walk in His light, we realise that HIS ways bring freedom. You are freed from self, from satan, from sin and from sorrow, you walk in a freedom that is at times to wonderful to grasp, it's way beyond anything the world could have given us.
This is something God has been teaching me a lot recently, at first, (and I'm ashamed to say this) I thought that God's ways were crippling, that I would lose all the things that I loved and that my life would be empty but more and more, I understand that His ways, walking with Him brings freedom, it brings peace, it brings joy and satisfaction. He will never leave us empty.
God is constantly teaching me how to talk right, that everythign I say will bring a smile to someone's face, remind them they are loved, He's teaching me to act like Him, I see with His eyes now, not with the flesh, I'm learning that I was created for a higher purpose than just myself, I live for Him and I live for others.
Now when I say "live for others", I don't mean that I am a people pleaser, I show God's love to others, and I know that as I bless others, He will bless me, I aim to be His hands and His feet in this world.
God is teaching me to find beauty in everything (even in the ugly things!). He teaches me to appreciate the simplest things in life and I sense His hand in everything I do and everything I see around me.
He teaches me to know when to speak and when to just shut up! We never seem to be able to do that right, He teaches me when to focus on issues and when to dismiss them, He teaches me to love like He does, never focusing on the bad in people (cuz truth is, if that's what He had done with me, I would be burning in hell right now!).
We need to say, "Teach me Lord to live and love like You, make me more and more like You, and help me to find myself in You".
We need to be willing to let God correct us, to direct us, to guide us, to save us on a daily basis, we need to learn to live again...
In the years when we were in the world, we were told lies, we conformed to the ways of the world simply because we knew no other way, in our own strength, we could not defeat self, the world says: "I want it, so I'm going to have it", "I feel like it, so I'll do it", "What about me?"
It's always somewhere around the arena of self but then when we give ourselves to God and walk in His light, we realise that HIS ways bring freedom. You are freed from self, from satan, from sin and from sorrow, you walk in a freedom that is at times to wonderful to grasp, it's way beyond anything the world could have given us.
This is something God has been teaching me a lot recently, at first, (and I'm ashamed to say this) I thought that God's ways were crippling, that I would lose all the things that I loved and that my life would be empty but more and more, I understand that His ways, walking with Him brings freedom, it brings peace, it brings joy and satisfaction. He will never leave us empty.
God is constantly teaching me how to talk right, that everythign I say will bring a smile to someone's face, remind them they are loved, He's teaching me to act like Him, I see with His eyes now, not with the flesh, I'm learning that I was created for a higher purpose than just myself, I live for Him and I live for others.
Now when I say "live for others", I don't mean that I am a people pleaser, I show God's love to others, and I know that as I bless others, He will bless me, I aim to be His hands and His feet in this world.
God is teaching me to find beauty in everything (even in the ugly things!). He teaches me to appreciate the simplest things in life and I sense His hand in everything I do and everything I see around me.
He teaches me to know when to speak and when to just shut up! We never seem to be able to do that right, He teaches me when to focus on issues and when to dismiss them, He teaches me to love like He does, never focusing on the bad in people (cuz truth is, if that's what He had done with me, I would be burning in hell right now!).
We need to say, "Teach me Lord to live and love like You, make me more and more like You, and help me to find myself in You".
We need to be willing to let God correct us, to direct us, to guide us, to save us on a daily basis, we need to learn to live again...
Friday, 24 October 2008
Believing in the unseen God...
There was a time when I believed I was above everyone else and that I never doubted God, I always believed that I was above that sort of thing and it could never happen to me. I was sure in my heart: "God, I could never doubt You, of course You exist" but I guess since about two weeks ago, the enemy of my soul was bringing thoughts into my head.
"Is God real?" "Is He really here?" I was shocked that I was having such doubts but I realise more and more everyday, that God, I picture Him in my heart and not my mind.
The truth is that He's way more than my intellect and my tiny human brain could never possibly contain the fullness of Him, He's way beyond me or anything I could ever imagine, He is the Creator of the heaven and earth, He is the Great I Am, He is The Master of the Universe, He is a supreme being, He's just way more than us.
I guess we have to get to that point where we understand that God is a spirit, and that there is a spiritual realm that govenrns what happens in the physical. Look at Ephesians 6:12, that we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world (NLV).
My prayer for you and myself (of course!) is that God will help us to see the world, people, ourselves and situations through His eyes. In the flesh, in our own sight, we are blind to the truth but when we let God open our eyes to the unseen. We live life His way and in the worst of situations, we see oppurtunity for renewal, ressurection and revival.
This is something God is still teaching me so I pray that He will do the same for you and He will give you the strength to share this truth with others, even your worldly friends.
Anyways, God bless you, hope you have an awesome day with God and keep smiling 4 Jesus!
Annie
"Is God real?" "Is He really here?" I was shocked that I was having such doubts but I realise more and more everyday, that God, I picture Him in my heart and not my mind.
The truth is that He's way more than my intellect and my tiny human brain could never possibly contain the fullness of Him, He's way beyond me or anything I could ever imagine, He is the Creator of the heaven and earth, He is the Great I Am, He is The Master of the Universe, He is a supreme being, He's just way more than us.
I guess we have to get to that point where we understand that God is a spirit, and that there is a spiritual realm that govenrns what happens in the physical. Look at Ephesians 6:12, that we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world (NLV).
My prayer for you and myself (of course!) is that God will help us to see the world, people, ourselves and situations through His eyes. In the flesh, in our own sight, we are blind to the truth but when we let God open our eyes to the unseen. We live life His way and in the worst of situations, we see oppurtunity for renewal, ressurection and revival.
This is something God is still teaching me so I pray that He will do the same for you and He will give you the strength to share this truth with others, even your worldly friends.
Anyways, God bless you, hope you have an awesome day with God and keep smiling 4 Jesus!
Annie
Thursday, 23 October 2008
Yay! First post!
OK, so I've been following Sarah Anne's blog for about two months now and I like this whole blog thing, pretty awesome!
My ultimate goal in life is to live for Him, and I love Him so basically I will try (and I'll highlight the world "try") and post everyday about life with God, life as a Christian, life as a teenage girl for God.
So yeah, that's it pretty much!
So, uh...yeah, I'm a born-again Christian and my God is pretty much everything that means anything to me, and so I wanted to start a blog about my journey of faith and my walk with Him. I want to share everything that God is showing me with the world (maybe "world" is exaggerating, but those who are interested anyways).
I first gave my life to Christ two years ago when I was twelve and He pretty much came right out of nowhere and He changed everything, I fell instantly in love with Him but then I strayed from His path and lived the life of the sinner once again. Cut a long story short, I came back to my Love about four weeks ago and I feel like I know and love Him more now.
And so, I want to share my faith and I want you to share in the wonder He is pouring into my life.My ultimate goal in life is to live for Him, and I love Him so basically I will try (and I'll highlight the world "try") and post everyday about life with God, life as a Christian, life as a teenage girl for God.
So yeah, that's it pretty much!
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